HBP 143: Stoner Math


“I’m synthetically loving life.”

Greetings and salutations!  We’re back with episode 143 of The Hot Box on this surprisingly chilly Sunday afternoon.  If you are in the northern latitudes experiencing the onset of the winter season and have months of cold, dark and windy days to look forward to, we here at the Hot Box have a solution.  Grab your stash of cannabis, put the Oreos down, plant yourself somewhere warm and prepare to be brought along with us as we discover brilliantly placed false logic, a racist priest that gets on the news to spread his message of hate, a brief visit to the Whitehouse, and much more.  You can immediately consume this entire podcast at once, safely.  Enjoy!

This week we start by discussing a Forbes article that may have ‘rocked’ it’s readers by telling them(and us) that everything we know about crack/cocaine and methamphetamine is wrong.  What do you think you know about these substances?  Ian gives a few examples of effects we have all heard and a few nobody has.  Mat explains the reality of addiction to these chemicals and how we came to be fed this information.  We learn that ‘addicts’ immediately consume all the crack in their vicinity.

Mat admits that he is going to spend an hour a day learning to appreciate Phish.


Because crack and methamphetamine’s addiction prowess is being questioned, Connecticut College (through a press release, hey at least it wasn’t Facebook) announces what the new most addictive substance is. Oreo’s.  Yup.  Your favorite double chocolate cookie with a creme filling is at the top of the list.  Isn’t that about right?  Ian admits that if there is a fresh package of Oreo’s in the pantry it has been something to look forward to.  Eating them of course not the ensuing stomach ache and later the digestive ‘block’.  What do you think?  Instead of a war on drugs, I say we start a war on fat.  We now have a ‘target’ that is being sold in every American town and causing some major health issues in your kids (in you too but as everyone knows, if we say we’re doing something for the kids, it just happens no matter the false logic or lack of reason).


Colorado regulators ask the tough questions.  How much is marijuana?  What does it cost?  While trying to calculate the complex trigonometric theoretical problem of how much our cannabis costs, both Mat and Ian realize that ‘stoner’ math might not work as well as planned.  We discuss the particular categories of cannabis products that Colorado is interested in figuring out the specific costs in order to apply a tax.  A bit controversial but Ian reminds us that they are the first / only ones doing this.  The discussion leads into ideas about price control and market standards that could be observed in Colorado while reflecting on what happened in Montana.

What substance do you think is the most affordable?  Alcohol? Cannabis?

Mat introduces his co-host to the cultural standard of present day.  Rap artists get to rename cannabis products.  While we could only think of two specific products/strains that have been gifted by being spoken by a famous rapper.   Do you know of any other ones?  We talk about what it means to be a white guy (like very white pretty fly for a white guy white) from Montana in this context.


Meanwhile in Washington State ‘a slight of hand’ trick in the wording of a new memo handed down from the Attorney General (Cole).  What is going on over there Washington?   We talk about what can go wrong when you have a true blue cowboy for a sheriff.

It is mentioned how Attorney General’s can say one thing and then do something totally different.  So in an effort to clear the smoke, Hot Box Podcast would like you to know the following:

Nothing that the DEA releases, says, memo’s, or even gets ordered to do from the Director should put you ‘cannabusiness’ owners at ease or feel anything at all.  The state’s Attorney General can request these federal task forces to execute legally obtained search and seizure warrants.  This request can, and probably will be granted no matter what orders or memo’s have been issued.

We move to highlight what is going on in Washington D.C.  The district’s legislators and the mayor are all together on decriminalizing cannabis.  Ian asks why a non-voting member of the house (who happens to think that we aren’t really interested in this type of legislation) has any say in the decision, and how Fox News can possibly find a racist priest to interview about his opinion on a decriminalization law.

MDS writes in with a couple of stories made for the Hot Box. Times get rough when you get kidnapped because people think you buried a bunch of money in the desert. They took a blowtorch to the guy. People be tripping.

People use more discretion for texting than is used for smoking pot while driving.  How embarrassing is it to get caught on your phone, but smoking is kosher right?

Turning to the fearless federal government to find out how many arrests are made and how many people are in prison for non-violent cannabis charges.   The numbers are quite large and as our two hosts learned about an hour ago, stoner math still doesn’t work so well for these complex calculations.  Yet there is a beacon of despair that flashes every nineteen seconds that just so happens to be the same interval between cannabis arrests.

Why is it that just because people are ‘using’ a drug, it is then labeled a ‘serious’ drug with ‘serious’ consequences?  This is covered and explained while discussing Iowa’s approach to handling cannabis ‘problems’ and problem-makers.  Like putting them in substandard, court ordered “treatment” programs solely for one reason.   Padding the numbers of cannabis users in treatment has several ‘benefits’ to the state.  It’s apparent that doing this only benefits a few, does nothing for the cannabis users,  and scares many parents that apparently still don’t have access to the internet or know how to ask these questions for themselves.


Why are you burning all that weed Liberia? Nothing more productive to do with it than just waste it? So wasteful.

To wind up the hour (actually about 80 minutes) our fearless podcast hosts cover some current events. Going through a few familiar stories, it comes to light the Hot Box Podcast was not invited to move to Colorado to be a part of Cannabis Biotech’s testing facility.  We decide there must have been a mistake because who better than to live/broadcast/test their products than The Hot Box?   To stay busy while we wait to be invited down to Cannabis Biotech, we discuss how many hours it takes to master a skill, making fun of Hot Box Math, attending online drug classes and where Mat learned his ‘radio’ voice.  Mat wraps it up and puts a bow on it.

If you like hip hop, check out Escape Goats and The Blame EP. You can get them free here on my music page, or on my SoundCloud. But if you want to actually pay for the music, you can donate some cash or check them out on Google Play.

Again, thanks for listening. While you wait for the next episode, follow us on  Twitter, Google+ and Facebook so we can let you know what’s going on with the show. Also be sure to join the Hot Box Google+ community so we can have a discussion about important cannabis topics. Leave us a message and voice your opinions at 406.204.4687. We also appreciate you Subscribing to the show in iTunes and writing us a quick review.

Author: Mat Lee

Dab lab rat and rap writer. Creating dope shit since the chromosome split.

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